Tinder Love and Care

"I'm certain I'll find my soulmate in the questionable and seedy world of online dating." ~SomeEcards

When I hear people rattle off their Tinder dating (I use dating loosely...pun intended) stories, my mind instantly shifts to the Law and Order: SVU episode that deals with "Anonymous Quickie"...a make-believe phone app that promotes exactly what its name says. Only in that episode, the main culprit had HIV and didn't bother telling anyone. That wasn't intended to scare you from Tinder, but if you're not quite familiar...Tinder seems to have this reputation that rests in the middle ground between Match.com and AdultFriendFinder.com.


So when I got asked to write a blog about Tinder, I grinned and shook my head. Not because I would discourage you from using it or because it has a  'hook-up' vibe to it...but because of the naivety in which some people use it.

First, I had no choice but to hit the pavement and summon Nashville's finest to get their thoughts. They delivered as always, and here's a quick summary.

TINDER PRO's

• Easy to use and free
• Profiles featured are generally more attractive than regular online dating
• Reveals mutual friends so you can do your homework
• Reciprocal swipes ensure matches are mutual so there's no unwanted communication

TINDER CON's -or- SWING POINTS TO CONSIDER (can swing either way depending on where you sit)

• Many people 'drunk' Tinder (ie, incoherence, lost conversations)
• "The quickest way to chlamydia I know."
• Large percentage of people who just want to 'hook-up'
• 90% of interaction is based on appearance and maybe a clever headline
• The app is location based, which lends itself to out-of-towners
• Swipes can get out-of-control

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of 2 dating themes: 1. There truly is an app or website for everything. And 2. Freaks are everywhere, so let's not pretend unwholesome people are only online. I'm always humored by that person whose ignorance stereotypes online dating: "I'm never using match.com again! That guy was not who he said he was." Really? so the guy you met 6 months ago at a bar who you took home that night and who ended up living with his parents- how did that go? Was that a disingenuous bar?

Bad dating arrangements are found anywhere you're willing to look.

Have you ever wondered why people don't have the same standards and filters for people no matter how and where you met them? If safety comes first, it wouldn't matter where you met them...whether it be Tinder...at the gas station....Match.com....or if grandpa hit him or her with the car.

So protect yourself by not lowering your standards to meet at someone's house...or by not hooking up out of convenience...or by compromising one of your values 'just because.'

After your safety comes the most important key to dating you'll ever hear: if online dating (or any dating) is going to be successful for you, your goals have to be synchronized with whomever you meet. But that's also the parallel (that people refuse to see) with meeting someone 'offline'. If a mere hook-up is acceptable, then your options are obviously greater. If something long-term and concrete is more your style, then swiping through pics-and-catchy-headline on Tinder, probably isn't your right forum. Where you fish is just as important as the fish you choose to keep.

Convenience doesn't mean quality, and you might have to separate the two. Gas station hot dogs and donuts are pretty convenient, quick, and easy...but you probably wouldn't take them home to mom.

Until next time,
Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how MaximalMe.com Life Coaching can help you make smarter dating choices.

In the Nick of Time Management

How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did i get so late so soon? ~ Dr. Seuss

Every week I talk to managers and supervisors who often comment (complain) about the skill-sets (and lack thereof) of their employees. It appears there are 2 skills that a majority of people mistakenly feel are their own competencies: Customer Service and Time Management. And ultimately, they aren't very good at either.

Customer Service embodies the art of the customer always being right, which sounds simple at face value...up until it's time to actually act and communicate as if the customer's ignorance or attitude is indeed actually right. That is moment where true customer service is tested.

Then there's Time Management...the world where organization, scheduling, and balance make a baby called productivity.  If your Time Management skills are weak, then first start take a long, hard look your system that does the managing. Outlook? Google Calendar? Cell phone app? Day Planner? a scribbled on napkin?All are good choices if you're just starting out, but I'd go with a coaster in lieu of a napkin. Your first key is to use your system for everything- both professional and personal- so you get in the habit of solid, comprehensive planning. That is, you'll make Time Management second nature.

If you're feeling pretty good about your Time Management skills, then I'm about to grant you 3 intangibles for which mastery will further increase your profile.


Foresight. Anybody can plan out the next 5 working days. Let's upgrade. Have your thoughts scroll through a series of timelines...2 weeks...1 month...3 months...6 months...and asked yourself the detail-oriented questions for each event on the calendar: Do I need to book a conference room? Have all the stakeholders been invited? What is the budget? What are the traveling and logistics challenges? 

By asking the critical questions for each interval, you essentially just raised your own stock:You elevated the game from simple Time Management to anointed Project Manager. By mastering the details early and often, you begin to look like a planning genius to your colleagues. Your reward? Impressing the masses as they think, 'wow, he thought of everything.'

Valuing the time of others. Have you ever scheduled a meeting for a small group, say 8 to 12 people, and 2 people were no-shows and 2 others were 10-15 minutes late? You awkwardly sit there forcing conversations while those 4 members didn't even bother to confirm presence nor tardiness. Now, yes, I concur that we must acknowledge that $hit happens and schedules often conflict. But if others are depending on your presence, feedback, and contributions, then bare-bones human decency asks that you keep the group or team leader aware of your attendance. Valuing the time and schedules of others is about respect. If your punctuality and presence isn't noticed by your colleagues or stakeholders, or even your friends, why should they respect your time?

Continual Re-prioritization. True masters of Time Management have figured out that your priorities at 9:00 am on Tuesday, may be drastically different than those at 2:30 pm on that same Tuesday. Sometimes you'll have to have your head on a swivel...and when you least expect it, the present task will change as you balance the critical needs of today with the deadlines for the next week. You can also consult your Circle of Concern vs. Influence to focus on the areas where you have direct control. Evaluate early and often, and don't be afraid to consult superiors for guidance.

Keep your schedule fresh in your head, value others' schedules, and use your gift of foresight to become a master of balancing and reshuffling. And thus, your 3 new concepts all come together.

Time Management can be an art...a lifestyle. If you're willing to embrace even the basic concepts, you can start streamlining all aspects of your life, and, in in turn, maximizing every single day.


~Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how www.MaximalMe.com Life Coaching programs are centered around Time Management.

Smile, For the Selfie

I've read about 202 articles that scientifically link the act of taking a Selfie (the act of snapping a cell phone picture of yourself) to Narcissism (the act falling in love with yourself). And I have to say- I'm starting to believe every one of them. Throw in 4 lbs of Entitlement, and you'll have the instant recipe for Generation Y Soup. Social Media could post some sort of alert or Selfie decoder legend in the corner. One Selfie a week: Acceptable. 2-3x a week: Warning, watch for falling rocks. 4-10x a week...Attention Starved will be tattooed right on your forehead.

The aforementioned articles cite the need for approval...Looking for social comfort...Needing reassurance...It's a scream for a reply. In the 90's we didn't have Social Media, but we were quick to point out the kid in class who was constantly looking for attention. We didn't have a way to 'like' his behavior, so we probably just faciliated a path to him or her becoming an outcast. The irony rests in whether or not you're one of those people who clicks 'like' every time the hot girl posts a Selfie.

However, my concerns with Social Media extend far beyond Selfies. I'm baffled by how people who take an excessive amount of Selfies, who take pictures of their lunches, and who post their drama online, can't figure out why the Internet can't stand people who take an excessive amount of Selfies, who take pictures of their lunches, and who post their drama online. Follow me?

And then I met Reed. Reed was my server for lunch one day. Upon witnessing her take a Selfie at the bar, I took a snide jab when she returned to my table. She admitted it was childish and called it 'high school,' but it was what she said next that caught me off guard: "I'm just having a bad day and needed something to cheer me up."

Well, damn. That's hard to argue.

So here I sit...stuck in a dilemma. Now instead of instantly judging your Selfie, I first want to know why you took it. From there, the Internet can collectively judge you on different levels.

The ultimate truth is that each one of you probably has slightly different reasons for your pics. But let's not kid ourselves and say that attention isn't one of them. If you're on a fabulous hike or vacation and want to show your face with a scenic landscape in the background...is the world's reaction to that photo supposed to be different to one of just you in front of your bathroom sink with a duck face and flashing deuces?  The answer to that riddle is yes, but the foundation for both pics is still the same: you wanted others to see it. That's approval. That's attention.

What people have yet to come to grips with is this: You will be judged on WHATEVER you post to your social media. You can't air your relationship drama or have daily political rants or be a constant Debbie Downer or post frequent pics of the drunken you, and expect people not to judge you on some level.

That begs the question: What does your Social Media say about you? Are you making people's lives better? Are your posts encourging and painting you in a motivated light? or are you putting up hourly posts that bring absolutely nothing (except drama, narrow opinions, and your bathroom sink) to the table? Or is everything online just up there so people notice and give you attention and a pat on the back? You'll have to answer that...because your friends already have.


Ulimately, I will put my PB&J sandwich up against your edamame and gourmet sandwich anyday of the week. I'm just not going to show everyone. But, if you're in a happy moment and need to post a picture...go with it. Happiness, innovation, and positive energy can be contagious, and if you're uplifting to at least one person, then maybe it's worth it. However, if you're at the gym: nobody cares, but hey, post that mirror Selfie like you own the next Olympics.

Happy Social Media-ing,
~Coach Jake


P.S. Ask me how Maximal Me Life Coaching can give your life the structure and change you need to boost your confidence to new heights.

Blame it on the Name

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." ~Juliet Capulet

August 1995. I stood in a long line with 1,200 other college freshmen. This line led to one prestigious event: Meet the President...a Friday tradition during the opening weekend at my school. There we waited, a bunch of anxious 18 year olds who would change their majors an average of 1.5 times, to shake hands with the most powerful person in charge of our education.

I wish now I would have had a better line as I approached Dr. Angelo Volpe, but "Hey, I'm Jake, from Centerville, TN," was all I could muster up. "Welcome to Tennessee Tech, I'm President Volpe." He was short, happy, and charismatic. "I hope you have a great 1st weekend here," as he sent me off.

And that was that. No climax whatsoever...Until 2 days later at church. Out of all the pews in the church, Dr. Volpe and his wife chose mine to slide into. I get to pray with the President! (or some other naive freshman thought). Only what came next was an impressionable shocker:

Dr. Volpe slid down the pew next to me, made eye contact with me, and said, "Oh, good morning, Jake."

Wow. Just wow. Now I'd like to pretend I'm that memorable. And I'd also like to disregard the theory that maybe he had a photographic memory. Regardless, at the end of the day of meeting over 1,000 students and welcoming back all the faculty, he simply remembered my name.

Thus, the lessons of the day will start there. Your life will have several introductions. Some professional. Some social. Others in passing that you'll only see again by chance, but you'll inevitably see a lot of those people again. And when you're shaking hands for the second time, it can go as hey, what was your name again? (repetitive and backtracking), or hey, Jake! (perhaps having an impressionable WOW factor).

How about some tips?

1. For 15 seconds, focus all of your attention on the introduction. A common reason for forgetting names is having your attention split between 10 different things in the room.

2. Repeat, and repeat again. Say the name silently to yourself. Upgrade this step by repeating the name out loud with, "Nice to meet you, Jake."

3. Association. Associate the person with the moment, the atmosphere, or a unique activity. Maybe his or her job, or an alcoholic beverage in his hand, or something quirky like a accent or tone.

4. Drive it home. Practice one last staple for your memory. Ask something about the name. Think of a quick celebrity look-alike. Maybe spell it out or use a question such as, "Do you spell that with an e or an a?"

5. If your memory is really, really bad, you can always write it down or quickly text yourself with some notes. This step works especially well in networking situations where you're meeting several people who are all worth remembering.

Bonus Emergency Tip:  Uh Oh! you forgot a name again. Why not introduce that person to close acquaintances: "...and this my cousin, Jason."  You'll grease the wheels to a re-introduction and everyone wins.

Your road to success will have countless introductions. How you process the information just might factor into your success...so make it a WOW factor. You're not only showing someone they were worth remembering, you're broadcasting your networking, social, negotiation skillset. Pretty powerful for just a simple little name.

Romeo and Juliet wanted to forget their names...you need to value remembering them.

~Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how Maximal Me and www.MaximalMe.com programs can revamp you're entire Professional Profile.

The Screaming Red Flags of Dating

"You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you-you-you-you-you-you-you....I wanna talk about me!" ~Toby Keith, I Wanna Talk About Me

Imagine if you will....You're 8 months into a relationship. There you sit, comfortably enjoying a meal at a restaurant, when all of the sudden your date [insert one of the following that makes you cringe: has a conversation with his/her mouth full of food; makes a racist/intolerant comment; lights up a cigarette; curses the server over a mistake; burps with no 'excuse me'; downplays your thoughts or opinions.]

Now your seat is less comfortable. Your toes are curling. Your blood is boiling. You're halfway to offended. But then reality slaps you across the face as you have a flashback to the 2nd and 3rd and 4th dates....

You realize the person sitting across from you has been committing these crimes (well, in your eyes anyway) for months now. He/she didn't hide anything! It was right in front of your eyes, and you witnessed every single event. The disgust you're feeling right now can ultimately be traced back to ignoring the warning signs 8 months ago.


The most important question might be 'Why?' but let's expand that a bit:  Why do we turn our heads to the red flags? Is the behavior just a cute quirk in the initial courting stage? If our guards are higher in the beginning, why are our filters lower? Why are they 'red' flags? Red is the symbol for fire and love. They should be 'orange'...the international symbol for caution and hazardous waste.

Ah, yes. I know some of you in the audience have your hand in the air; silently screaming to make a counter-point to the premise thus far. Let me ease your anxiety: Yes, some of these Red Flag behaviors don't even come out until month 3 or 4. A deception beast that's been biting its tongue for months...just waiting for the comfort zone to kick in...kind of like farting in front of a new partner: Once you do it the first time, it automatically becomes socially acceptable all the time.

Every dating duo, whether they become exclusive or not, reaches a point-of-no-return for comfort and behavior. That line in the sand is like discovering the truth about Santa: Most of us can't remember the exact moment, we just know it happened at some point. Seeing as these behaviors can be critical to your happiness, it's time to start paying attention to the line in the sand. Once the true colors are out, they are most likely not going anywhere.

In either case, your actions (or reactions) are really the only thing that counts. Controversial and offensive behaviors are called Red Flags for a reason. Your partner sees them as normal. Your moral standards sees them as ugly. Turning your head would seem to be an act of lowering your standards. So just how low can you go?

But I'd like to help with the power of synergy. I summoned 10 of Nashville's finest, and I asked them: What are YOUR Red Flags.

Here's our Top 30 Red Flags of Dating (as told by Music City):

No reciprocation/only talks about himself/herself

Lack of chivalry

Downplaying of smoking or drugs

Talk about Exes too much

Excuses for everything: Being late. Not calling. Not texting back.

Lack of job/motivation to get a job

No/poor relationship with family 

No career plan

Lives with parents

Indecisiveness or lack of planning

Constant phone/social media attention

Too many stories about drinking

Too little/too much confidence

Unwillingness to learn new things

Unwillingness to explore new cultures

People who have no hobbies

Poor manners/Bad hygiene

Indirect/swaying answers

Hiding/exaggerating pertinent information

Temper explosions

Rude to servers/bartenders/waiters

His/her schedule > your schedule

Name dropping (hints of money)

Text only communication. No calling.

Eyes wander to check others out

Posting their entire lives on social media

Always wanting to go out and be seen/be a socialite

Only calling/texting during certain hours including late night

Unusually high number of opposite sex friends

Crazy cat lady

Now THAT is a great list. One time I got to a 5th date and realized she had yet to ask a single question about me. One month in, and she knew nothing about my job, my family, or my passions. And if I hadn't stopped the madness when I did, I would have ended up dating whoever Toby Keith was dating when he wrote the song I Wanna Talk About Me. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

Thank you, Nashville, for your help.

The red flags are waving. Don't wave back. Find better colors for yourself.

~Coach Jake


P.S. Ask how MaximalMe.com Life Coaching can enhance your dating filters so you can date more effectively.

Mastering the Job you Hate

"OH, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY. They meet at the bar." ~George Carlin

Stop me if you've heard this one! You're sitting at your work desk. You're easily distracted by...well, everything. You're bitter. You can't remember the last time you were productive. But if you really stop to think about it, you can't even pinpoint why you're in a 'work-rut'. So you end up blaming everything: Your supervisor is terrible. Deadlines are too quick. The company doesn't listen to me or value its employees. The work environment, in your opinion, is not conducive to...well, anything.

And that's your professional life as you know it. A downward spiral to misery.

The good news is: You're not alone. (Which really only means anything if you believe in strength and support in numbers.) The more good news is that YOU can do better...and it doesn't even have to mean finding a new job. You can simply do better at the job you have.

First, let's talk about your focus. Along, perhaps, with your concern and influence. Oh, God, you're thinking....he's going to beat me with a Covey stick. Not at all...I promise- but I do want you to conduct an evaluation as to why your positive energy evaporates on a daily basis. You just might be surprised.

I talk to job-disgruntled people every single day, and I always receive the most surprised looks when I ask them one simple question: Are you wasting time worrying about things you can't control? And the alarming answer is almost always 'yes'. We remain so irritated at situations out of our control that the excuses halt productivity. We surf the Internet. We endlessly scroll Facebook. We shop online. And even worse...we justify it all.

It's the quickest formula to not getting a promotion or raise you've ever seen...and for you...it all stops NOW. I have 2 tasks (plus a bonus) for you, so let's begin by examining Figure 1:

The BIG circle shown below is your Circle of Concern. This boundary contains everything that gets you stirred up...everything you care about...and everything that ignites emotion. Take a second to let that soak in.

Figure 1: Circle of Concern vs Influence

The SMALLER circle is your Circle of Influence. Items in here include everything your actions and attitudes can impact. You control and influence everything in this circle. You have the power.

Figure 2 below shows just how out-of-control our Circle of Concern might become. We become possessed by too many external factors. A more basic example for the concepts can be seen with the comparisons of parenting an infant versus the parenting a 16 year-old. Your concerns for the teenager might be bigger or more plentiful, but your influence might be smaller. Whereas with the infant, you have an incredible amount of influence, yet your concerns would be more focused on current well-being of the baby.

Exercise: Draw the circles for yourself to get a snapshot of your personal or career environments. Are you wasting time on things out of your control? Is it time to redirect your efforts?

Figure 2: What's in your Circle of Concern?

Bottom line: Proactive people focus their efforts in areas they can affect and make changes. It allows their Circle of Influence to grow through experience and knowledge. With their motivation channeled on items they can control and their Circle of influence growing, 'The Gap' (see Figure 1) will shrink with every micro-achievement. Plus, spending less time and energy worrying about areas they can't control is a huge time management boost. It's a win-win.

The 2nd thing you can do to help your cause is pretty easy. Simply remember that negative energy in the workplace is contagious. If you want to be known as motivated, innovative, or positive, then all your actions must reflect it.

Are you feeling really motivated? Then harness your innovation and people skills to be a leader of change in your office. If the office environment is affecting attitudes...then why not implement measures that boost productivity? That's how leaders make their mark.

It may very well be time for a new job. There's nothing wrong with that. We'll polish up your resume`, knock the lint off your dress clothes, and sharpen up your interview skills. These days finding a new job is a small war, and you need to be ready to battle. But in the meantime, promise me you'll only fight the battles at your current job that are worth fighting. Put your energy and strength in places that deserve it.

~Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how MaximalMe.com can help your business or organization enhance its working environment with my 2-hour "4 C's" program for Inner-Office Communication.

Email jake@MaximalMe.com for more Influence vs. Concern exercises.

Life's Artificially Flavored Numbers

"A good decision is based on knowledge and not numbers." ~Plato

I can't explain why I chose age 27. That age and number have zero significance to me. All I know is that when I got to college, that's the age I chose for when I was going to get married. Perhaps that was an 18 year-old's projection for when life says, "Halt! You've had enough fun spending your own money. Time to let someone else spend it." Maybe my brain calculated ages that would be too old to have toddlers or teenagers in the house. Maybe I was just young and dumb.

The biggest problem, however, was that '27' stuck with me, engraved in my brain, for a long, long, time...and then from age 27 to 33, I had a heightened sense of anxiety that I was behind. Behind in life. Like I had missed the bus. As if joining AARP the same year I said my vows was a terrible thing. Maybe I was just young and dumb.

Next let me introduce you to Miles. I met Miles my freshman year of college (just a coincidence to the previous story), and I only remember Miles for 1 reason: The second he learned that the average engineering salary was $55,000...well, $55,000 became the weirdest obsession I've ever seen. You couldn't have a conversation about classes or future without Miles bringing it up. That number became his mission. A number. A large dollar number. I lost touch with Miles after our junior year, but his fixation always made me wonder about his career path and first salary.

Fast-Forward to 2 weeks ago, when a friend of mine (female, age 37) declared that if she had not had children by age 39, then she would simply not being having children. Ever. It made me genuinely sad- if for no other reason, than my strong belief that she'd be a fabulous mother. A motherhood that may never happen, possibly because of another number. This time the number was 39.

What if I told you...That I could give you tons of parental success stories after age 40?  that salary medians don't often compare apples to apples? that your marriage longevity will correlate better with your patience, rather than a timeline? that your neighbor's wealth doesn't have anything to do with your happiness? that you have enough pressures in your life so you don't need fake ones?

But I get it. You have all those numbers stuck in your head. Constantly comparing and measuring yourself as if every milestone in your life is your next battle of Keeping Up with the Joneses.  Stupid numbers.

Let's all take a deep breath and focus on one number that peeks at you every now and then. An age. A wage. A GPA. A date.  What does that number really mean? Does life end if we happened to come up just little bit short? After our recent bold stand against the Mayan calendar, that would be almost tragic if a nonsense benchmark got the best of us.

It's human nature to make comparisons and set benchmarks for ourselves. And some of those goals are absolutely worth achieving, or at least worth striving for. Let's just not beat ourselves up over the artificial ones. I wasn't married at 27. And my first job was less than the Engineering median. I let both of those affect my judgement and the way I saw my life. Yet, here I sit, with a normal pulse and blood pressure. Alive and well. I survived. I survived, because, in the end, those numbers meant absolutely nothing. If anything, I'm mad at myself for the time I lost dwelling.

So take your numbers, and simply lighten your grip on them. They'll still be there, and you can always come back and make your comparisons...maybe even nudge them a little. Just don't let them be your main focus. Put more energy into making today a better day and giving it everything you have. If you start focusing on the now and the things you have influence over, you'll soon begin to see that the ages, the dollar amounts, and the other artificial numbers, don't mean much of anything.

Now go make today great.


~Coach Jake

P.S. www.MaximalMe.com Life Coaching combines the powers of Time Management with both your short-term and long-term goals to create a plan that works perfectly into your schedule.

Part 2: Because You're Still Dating It All Wrong

"Women are like cars. We all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon."  ~Tim Allen 

We're baaaaaa'aaaaaack.  Wow. What a backlash I took from Part 1 (which you'll have to read by the way, for this segment to make any sense.)   "Box 1 is impossible, your Can't Live Without List is either always changing or you may not know it all." "Dating isn't meant for math (and thus an objective model.)" And my favorite: "My relationships don't last long enough to make this test work."

When I first developed The 4 Boxes, I'll gladly admit the final product was the collision of dating disasters (both  mine and my circle of friends) with my engineering desire to use metrics to tidy-up the chaos. Is it perfect? By no means. But if you ask me if it could be used to get a message across and perhaps motivate someone to take action...I'll answer with an emphatic yes.

People may not like math, but many do like pictures. If you follow the directions, you'll have a visual aid representing a snapshot of your relationship. Now you may or may not like what you see...but it's still yours. Plus, the system will have a bit more credibility with an image you created without having to listen to Dr. Phil's condescending voice. Now it's time for Processing. Improvement and change should be your goals, or at least would be the next logical step. A step which would be most beneficial when you or a friend is stuck in no-man's land: Is this relationship long-term worthy? Do I want to go to the next step?

For the model to have credibility for you, it's important you absorb the justification for each segment. Thus, I present...the Defense of Each Box.

I'm guessing those of you who fell short might be struggling with the inner conflict to defend anything less than 4 full boxes. Your fight-or-flight instincts are flared. If you're going to fight that battle, I ask you to first examine each box individually in order to investigate the source of the missing points.

Box 1: Can't Life Withouts 

This is the box of your 'Cant-Live-Without-These-Qualities' list, so if you were truthful and accurate when you made the list, a non-full box means you are short-changing both yourself and your needs. Action Required? You can revisit the list of attributes and evaluate them in terms of 'Deal-makers' and 'Deal Breakers'. Otherwise, you deemed several items of Can't-Live-Without-Importance…so don't live without any of them.

Box 2: Understood Reciprocation

Ask anyone who has ever been married or engaged for a long time…long-term relationships are hard, hard work, and that work never ever stops. That kind of unity demands an undying effort towards the success of the relationship. At the end of the day, you want someone whose effort in the relationship is undeniable—it's a critical piece to continual commitment. Why would you want to feel like you are 'doing all the work'? The 50-50 concept should be applied to ALL facets of the relationship. After all, if it's one-sided when things are good, it's certainly going to be one-sided when times are bad.

Box 3: Unquestionable Prioritization 

I can't name one person who is dating and excited about somebody who doesn't feel like a priority. Inclusion in someone's life goes beyond effort—it's about: do I feel like I'm important to this person? Do I get the Friday and Saturday nights? Do I get preference before the friends? Do I get the invites when it's important? Does this person make sacrifices to make sure I'm a part of things? Prioritization is in essence a ranking, and if you don't feel important—how long are you willing to take a backseat to everything else?


Box 4: Your Treat Box

Box 4 should be overflowing, and that's the bottom-line. These are YOUR treats, and Box 4 is symbolic of how this person goes out of his or her way to love you. Anything less than full means the person is instilling more negative actions than positive into your life...more selfish than caring; being more hateful than thoughtful. And I don't know anyone who wants to live like that. Find yourself a situation where your Box 4 never stops being too small for it's contents. You deserve that.

And there you have it. Are any of the Boxes bound by criteria you're ready to compromise? lower your standards for?  Are you still unsettled? Comment below. At the very least, you can pass this along to the girlfriend who complains ever happy hour that her relationship is going nowhere. Hand her a pen, and you'll then have 20 minutes to talk about something else. You're welcome.

~Coach Jake

P.S. Life Coaching applies to dating just as easy as finances and health & fitness. Check out www.MaximalMe.com and ask me how.

You're Dating It All Wrong (Part 1)

"I ain't settlin'...for just getting by. I've had enough so-so for the rest of my life. Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high..."  ~Sugarland

When I hit the rewind button for the last 15 years, I realize there is one topic that busts it's way in to every social gathering: dating. 

Who gave their ex another chance (That makes 6 chances). The continuous victim of his/her bad decisions. The whining. The never-ending text battles post-break-up. The hook-up with the guy she knew for 12 minutes. And countless examples of perhaps the deadliest silent killer of dating: the lowering of standards...or settling.

I frequently found myself wanting to say the same thing every time: "You're dating all wrong." Instead, I became just another voice in the crowd offering the ambiguous, pat-you-on-the-back counseling. "It will happen when you least expect it." "You'll find someone when you stop trying so hard." 

Well, single people, I'm speaking up now. Welcome to the world's newest model for effective dating…Welcome to The 4 Boxes. It's easy. You'll need a pencil and paper. And some honesty.

With The 4 Boxes model, you are granted 4 containers. They don't have to be boxes—make them buckets, metal tool chests, cookie jars, or those plastic storage units we all had in college…give yourself whatever you feel comfortable using. In a moment, I'm going to ask you to put items in each box based on your current relationship. However, before I continue, let's get the assumptions out of the way: 1. 4 Boxes assumes that you've either been dating the person in question -OR- that mutual dating interest has been shown and you can you speak at a high level about their personality. Crushes and Secret admirers will have to pursue other avenues of strategy. 2. If 4 Boxes is going to be the tool you need to it be, the model should only be used by people looking for healthy, long-term relationships.

Are your containers ready? Good.

Box 1
So Box 1 is the storage for all the characteristics and attributes in a dating partner that you would consider critical requirements, ie., your personal list of "Can't Live Without's". I would expect everyone to want his or her Box 1 to include items such as honesty and understanding, and then you'd include more personalized touches such as family-oriented, career-minded, or athletic. Remember, Box 1 is a Can't Live Without box, not a Dream Human Being box. That's the difference between writing 'athletic' and writing '3 handicap on the golf course' on the outside of the box. YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. What are the necessities you need in a relationship? 

Take some time to consider the items you want in your Box 1 and write them on the outside. I would aim for 6-8 items, but it's your box. When you're finished, the potential volume of your box is the number of items you wrote on it: 8 characteristics = 8 units in your box. With your box labeled, it's time to consider your current relationship. Examine each item on your list, and if your partner meets that item, place 1 arbitrary unit in your box. Now, people, have fun with this!! When I say arbitrary unit, put whatever you want in the box, just know that 8 of them (in this example) fills the box up. Proceed to next item on the list. Repeat until your list has been fully inspected. In one corner of the box, write your fraction for (partner meeting the need)/(potential volume. 1/8?, 4/8?, 8/8?

Box 2
Box 2 will take some deep thought, some reflection, and some brutal honesty from your self. Box 2 is labeled Understood Reciprocation. The concept itself is really easy; however, the brutal honesty part is not. First, hover over your Box 2 and you will notice there are 4 compartments, similar to those tubs of popcorn you get at Christmas with the different flavors. 

Understood Reciprocation is this (repeat the following outloud): My love, my effort, my actions, and my energy will always be matched. I lift a finger for someone because I know that person would lift that finger for me in the same way we'd both jump off a cliff for one another. Box 2 is asking you if your relationship is 50-50 in terms of effort. Box 2 also demands that there are no excuses. An excuse would be, well, he/she would have made that same sacrifice for me, but "______________". There are no 'buts' with Box 2, which is why you have to be honest. Is the same energy level brought to the relationship from both sides? Are both people taking the same steps toward the middle? Are more sacrifices made on one side than the other? Am I the only one trying here?

Time to fill your Box 2 with Popcorn using the table below. In terms of the love, effort, and energy I put into our relationship, my significant other puts:

0%, fill 0 compartments

25%, fill 1 compartment

50%, fill 2 compartments

75%, fill 3 compartments

100%, fill 4 compartments and eat a handful of popcorn as a snack. (Note: if you plan on eating all the popcorn from this exercise, I recommend adding butter at the half-way point. Flavored salt is also good).

Box 3
We live in a fast-paced world that's a blur sometimes. People are active. People are busy. People spin several plates then go to happy hour to complain about it. You may be dating someone who is into sports or church or community service or yoga or social groups or partying or singing or ballroom dance. Any or all of those are perfectly normal, but when they are thrown into a world of dating, the universe becomes a balancing act. But, how is it balanced?

Box 3 is labeled Unquestionable Prioritization. Two polysyllabic words that really want to know one thing:

Career Demands and Extracurricular Life aside, does this person make me feel like I'm a top priority at the end of the day? When it's really important, do I feel important in this person's life?

Ah, yes, another soul-searcher.

If the answer is No, don't touch your Box 3. If the answer is Sometimes, fill your box 33% full of dirt, and if the answer is Yes, fill your box completely full with whatever you'd like.


Box 4
Box 4 is your Treat Box. Pretend your Box 4 is 'half' full of candy. Every time your significant other displays an act that shows love, affection, compassion, kindness, thoughtfulness, selflessness, or courage towards you, place a treat in the box—candy or chocolate will work fine. (Amazing acts can be granted 2 pieces if you'd like). Every time he or she commits an act that might be considered selfish, hateful, greedy, inconsiderate, cold, or rude towards you, take a treat out of the box. You may have to project or even take the time to study the patterns over a week or a month...but in the end, would your box be losing candy (negative behaviors outweigh the positives) or would your box eventually fill up and spill over? (positives far outweigh the negatives). Hint: your box should be overflowing. You deserve that.

Take 30 seconds to study your boxes…

So here's where we sit, ladies and gentlemen. To conduct this exercise, you have someone in your life who you might be debating as appropriate for a long-term, committed relationship. You also have 4 Boxes in front of you. Before we process the results of this survey, you need to be reminded that the 4 Boxes genie does not create or manipulate attraction, chemistry, conflict resolution, or financial woes. This exercise is to test whether your somebody meets your relationship needs. There are plenty of intangibles outside the scope of this text that you can debate with Dr. Phil at later date.

And after all your effort, here it goes: If you have 4 Full Boxes in front of you, that person is a great candidate for you to pursue a long-term arrangement with. If you do not have 4 Full Boxes in front of you, then he or she may not be. (Crickets chirp) Were you expecting Calculus? Let's say you have 3 ½ full boxes….it's simply time to ask yourself—are you one to settle? Are you one to be content and not completely happy? Are you willing to feel less significant than other people and events? Are you willing to constantly treat someone better than you are treated in return? Those are for you to answer, not me.

Revisit us next week for the Defense of Each Box...


Until then I hope everyone stays motivated to find 4 full boxes one day. Happy Hunting.

~Coach Jake

P.S. Visit www.maximalme.com to see how Life Coaching applies to relationships.

Your/You're Kitchen Grammarification

When comforting a Grammar Nazi, I always say softly, "There,Their,They're."

Do you have 1 or both of these people in your life? 1. The one who points out every spelling or sentence error you've ever typed, or 2. The one who seems to struggle with basic punctuation and sentence construction. They both love spelling, right? One loves [for you] to spell perfectly...and the other loves not knowing how to spell. The former drives you crazy, and the latter makes you wonder if he/she finished the 5th grade. Did 2 names pop into your head?

We scorn these people and attack them silently. We wish the Grammar Police would go away, and we'd prefer the problematic linguist to grow up and get bit smarter. (Pause...deep breath). OK,What if we started to embrace these folks to help our own cause? What if we changed our outlook on grammar?

Pretend you're cleaning your house because your parents are coming over....or maybe a date. (The parent analogy works better if mom and dad still manage your overall cleanliness.)  You spend 3 hours making your house immaculate. Windows are streak-free and clear. Floors mopped so you can eat off of them. The vacuum lines show a perfect pattern in the carpet. You even broke down and bought a fragrant plug-in. Here's the kicker, though: Your parents or guests arrive and walk-in with hugs. After the greeting, the first comment is focused on the 1 bowl of spaghetti from 2 night ago. The sauce is hardened and dishwasher can't handle it. Perhaps an ant has discovered it as well.  It's the one thing you just didn't have time for...and someone noticed. Now you're deflated.

That's grammar, folks.

No one praises sound sentence structure, punctuation, or spelling in your daily communication...it's just kind of expected. But the second a your is swapped for you're and a there replaces their incorrectly, we're haunted by English teachers of years past.

Revisiting our 2 friends from above: They both have value in our lives. They both remind us to maintain a moderate level of attention to detail to our e-mails, memos, and letters because there are always eyes watching. And while some of those eyes judge us, others will make permanent mental notes that just might affect (see diagram below) future advancements or professional opportunities. Recap: No kudos for your good grammar. Punishment for the one dirty spelling in your kitchen.

Let's eat grandpa. Let's eat, grandpa.  See, grammar ultimately saves lives.

Happy dreams with sound sentence structure,

~Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how www.MaximalMe.com can help your proofread and review your important documents.

Making Love Online

"I'm probably single because I never forwarded those chain messages in 2008." ~lolsotrue #2450

I can't explain when or why 'Online Dating' became taboo, but it makes me scratch my head. Yes, your mother thinks it's just an episode of 20/20 or Dateline waiting to happen...but everyone else who feels it's socially unacceptable seem to glow of slight misunderstanding and maybe even hypocrisy. I'll explain...

Let's pretend you're 20 minutes into an Online Date....identity (and profile pictures) is confirmed. Conversation is flowing. You're enjoying yourself, but even if you're not, it's irrelevant. At that moment you can check the 'identity' box, does it really honestly matter where you 2 met?  Once you're over the first date anxiety and onto drink #2, you could have met anywhere: the bar, Wal-Mart, Online Dating, or your grandfather could have hit him with the car.  Again, does it matter? Great first dates and dud first dates happen every day-it's just a part of dating. You can't blame the Internet...all it did was introduce you two.

What's next? Oh, yes: "There are too many freaks and crazy people online." As my mind starts to rebuttal, it quickly drifts to my daily Facebook feed. Everyday I get to read about all the horrible break-ups, drama queen sob stories, stalkers, and the people who keep running back to their train wreck relationships. So, yes, there are some crazies on the Internet, but the rebuttal remains in the fact that those people also live offline...and lots of them are downtown roaming the streets ready to meet you at any moment. Conclusion: Crazy people are everywhere, and your screening processes and filters need to operate everywhere.

Where does the hypocrisy come into this?  Consider the bar scene downtown on any given Saturday. You've watched you and your friends flirt...then 'hook-up'.... and then go home with a guy (or girl) who you've known for 2 hours over 6 beers, 3 shot of Fireball, and loud music. You can't (in sound mind) support this pro-STD debauchery and then suddenly challenge the safety of the Internet. Sure we could also talk about privacy issues, but how come you've never questioned handing your credit card to a stranger (waiter) at a restaurant as you watch them disappear for 10 minutes.

If nothing else, the Internet helps your pre-screening process.  When you're talking to a brand new 'option' at a bar, you're usually starting from ground zero with absolutely no background information (which the author admits can be fun sometimes). However, an Online Dating profile and ritualistic communication at least allows you to filter some basic hobbies, interests, and career information.  So for your average dating experience, would you rather your starting point be nothing? or would knowing some personalized commonalities create an efficient world?  Ever talk to someone for an hour before you realized she was a smoker? He was an atheist? She hates hiking? He'd be allergic to all your cats?

So what's the final conclusion? The most successful online daters are the ones who use Match.com and the likes as just another way to meet people. It's not used as the end-all-be-all of dating. It doesn't consume them. They don't dwell on Match.com email replies (or lack thereof). Most importantly: they are smart about it, and they don't compromise their own standards for safety. Here are 3 basic tips for your Online Dating pursuits:

For Women
1. Never meet at your house, his house, or in a secluded area for the first time.
2. Use the transgression of email to phone, and then phone to 'in-person.' Feel completely comfortable before moving up the ladder.
3. Never be talked out of your comfort zone and trust your instincts.

For Men
1. Put some thought, time, and effort into your profile and emails.
2. Be stewards of grammar.
3. Let your communication reflect that you've read her profile.

Happy Hunting,

~Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how the ABC's of Online Chatting & Dating and other Online Dating tips can boost your success immediately.

15 'Friends' You Should Consider Removing From Your Life

“It’s not my job to be great at everything. It’s my job to surround myself with people that fill the gaps.” ~Chalene Johnson

Solid, balanced relationships are the foundation to several entities: friendships, marriages, businesses, alliances- to name a few. It should be inherent to surround yourself with the most happy, positive, productive, and motivating people that is possible. But for some reason, we don’t often do it. If you often find yourself doubting the circle(s) that surrounds you, it just might be time to clean house. While you're dusting, you can be on the lookout for these 'friends' to be the first ones to go. Each could be a man or woman, a boy or a girl- so I'll mix it up to provide gender equality.

1. The Significant Other or ‘Friend’ Who is ‘All Take’ and ‘No Give.’

We start with a prevalent dating topic (that’s applicable to friendships) because it's a theme that many people simply seem to accept a lower standard: "I feel like I make all the effort. (Yet I do nothing about it)."  If you've expressed your concerns and yet have received zero change in reciprocation, why would you keep waiting around for a situation to change? The typical next step is the 'break-up' and only then the person magically starts to understand. If it took drastic measures to make your point, it was never worth your time anyway.

2. The 'Friend' whose stories all start 'One time when I was drunk' or 'I got drunk last night'.

Social drinking and getting hammered every now and then is always acceptable. However, you can certainly take notice if that's all she ever brings to the table. Every lush needs witnesses to tell them about what they did last night. But she doesn’t need you--that's why God invented camera phones and Instagram.

3. The One-Sided Lunch ‘Friend’

You two meet every so often for lunch, but once you’re there, you can’t get a word in edge-wise. There also seems to be an absence of inquiries into your life and current events. Seek balance in all relationships…no matter where you eat.

4. The Anti-Addiction-Breaking ‘Friend’

Maybe you stopped smoking…Stopped doing drugs…Stopped drinking all together. You’re proud of yourself for the healthy accomplishment. But if your buddy tries to be the devil on the shoulder this Saturday night—“adios, sir.” Temptation is everywhere, so embrace those who embrace your goals.

5. The One-Upper ‘Friend’

Perhaps he’s your salesman or your ‘Type-A’ friend, but if you ran 5 miles yesterday, he ran 6 miles this morning. If your toddler counted to 20, his counted to 50. The occasional out-bid-you, out-did-you is acceptable, but if you never even get 2 minutes of uninterrupted limelight, it’s time to reconsider. Maybe if enough people roll their eyes and stop inviting him/her places, they'll get the hint.

6. The Flake ‘Friend’

Characterized by constant no-show’s and supplemented with an encyclopedia-of-last minute excuses. See how she reacts when the invites stop coming.

7. The Can I Borrow a Few Bucks 'Friend' (Every. Single. Time.)

I certainly have no problems loaning cash for a couple of drinks or lunches every now and then—who doesn’t? The problem occurs, however, when the borrower makes zero effort to pay the bank back…and then applies for multiple loans. Try choosing restaurants with free rolls and then deny the loan. Maybe he’ll get the hint.

8. The All I bring is Drama 'Friend'  

Sister to…#9…

9. The Debbie Downer Friend

This person can single-handedly suck the life out of an energetic circle because every word and story pouring out of her mouth is negative and draining. He cheated on me (again)…I hate my life…My boss is terrible…My job sucks…He never called. Really no explanation needed. Even your ears and patience have breaking points.

10. The Exaggerator-Attention Getter

Usually this person has parents that have gone overboard on the praise since kindergarten. Oh wait, is the group not talking about me? Then I shall tell grossly exaggerated versions of what’s going on with me and what happened last night until the group is focused on me, me, me. And by exaggerated I mean lies.

11. The Doesn't Listen to Repetitive Good Advice

‘Friend’…distant cousin to:

12. The Constant Victim of My Own Bad Choices ‘Friend’

Deluxe versions of #8 & #9. You want to be the best friend you can, and that role includes giving advice when the situation calls for it. But if your friend not only ignores the advice, but also keeps bringing the same repetitive drama/B.S./story to the table, then after a while it’s time for you to just save the oxygen.

13. The Ex Who Doesn’t Believe in Closure

Broken up, yet this person still wants to check-in, text constantly, and ‘make sure you’re doing alright.’ If you need closure, get your closure by invoking a ‘no contact’ rule until you’re ready. Make people respect your boundaries.

14. Half Guilt-Tripper, Half Bully ‘Friend’

We’re going to do what I want to do, and if you don’t, you’re a terrible friend and a bad person. A true manipulator who uses the power of pity to get what he wants. So we’re packing our bags and going on a guilt trip to You won’t be hearing from me for a while.

15. The Person Who Reads This List and Doesn't Believe He (or She) is Any of  Them. (But she (or he) actually batting .700. That's 70% for non-sports fans)

The all-inclusive friend. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt…nor is it absent in social circles. Recognize your personal short-comings and your friends might actually love you for it.

It’s highly probable that names popped into your head as your read each label. The ultimate solution doesn’t have to be kicking them to the curb.  Distancing yourself, however, might be a healthy decision. The choice is ultimately yours, but you’re not going to convince me that you enjoy one-sided, life-sucking relationships that don't provide any value. The key questions end up being: 1. Is this an equal relationship? and 2. Does this person bring a positive net worth into my life?  Net worth = Positive Experiences - Negative Experiences.

Or…flip the coin. Maybe 1-15 hit a nerve and you're thinking, Oh gosh, is that me?  Just ask yourself: It can be a big table- but I do I bring more negative or positive to it?

Leading a balanced, motivated life can be greatly influenced by every person and group that’s in your life. Some (say a project team at work), you can’t avoid. With others, though, the controls and reigns are all yours. Use that power. You’ll know you’re using it correctly when you’re able to harness positive energy from every friend and social circle in your comfort zone…and that energy is helping you be the best person you can be.

Until Next time,

~Coach Jake

P.S. Ask how the Maximal Me "4 Boxes" model can help you strengthen your relationships.

How Your Interview and Speech Find Their Funeral

"It usually takes me more than 3 weeks to prepare a good impomptu speech."
~Mark Twain

You have a big interview or presentation in 2 days...how many things are on your to-do list? Are your personal prose and dialect a priority? 

Imagine this:You’re sitting there calm and poised—you really want this job. Or, you’re standing at a podium doing your best to engage an audience that is approaching it's breaking point for lost attention. You’ve already promised yourself you wouldn’t resort to picturing the crowd naked, so that's out. The questions from the crowd (or the interviewer) are tame at this point, but your mind starts questioning whether you’re putting your best foot forward. You have solid points to make, so the middle of a sentence is an unfortunate time to a have a quiet panic attack. Beneath all the dialect, your subconscious is summoning all the practice and rehearsal that’s critical to your success. But here’s the kicker: Unless you’re aware of your speech deficiencies, all the practice in the world won’t eliminate the nuances you’ve been projecting naturally for 20 years. So the next time you’re in front of the mirror, add these 3 Kamikaze tactics to your list of things to evaluate (and avoid):

1. YOUR SPACE FILLERS, YA KNOW?

Ummmmmmmmmm, you’re flowing so smoothly that your fallback job could easily be a car salesman. You actually sound like a subject-matter expert. Then, before you know it, you realize you’ve paused in place where a ‘period’ should go…but, sadly, you made it a 'comma.' No worries—your brain comes to your rescue by muttering sounds (not necessarily words) it finds pleasing. This assistance comes in many forms that includes but is not limited to:

“UMM,” “YA KNOW?,” lip-smacking, excessive use of "like," “LITERALLY,” “BASICALLY,” and “AH.”

Your space fillers are inserted naturally, and using fillers doesn’t necessarily make you a bad public speaker...but they add absolutely NOTHING to your presentation and they may attack your credibility. Inadvertently ending a stence with ‘and’ falls into this group as well because many people are so eager to speak their next point, they forget they don’t really have one. Excessive use of 'like' is a big no-no if you want to avoid teenage girl dialect: "I was like uh huh, and she was like no!, and then i was like oh yes it did!"

Remedy: Preparation and Analysis. Voice and video recording can help you pinpoint the situations where you use fillers and why you might be using them. Sometimes slowing down your talking pace will allow your brain to shutdown your thoughts on time, so your words imply ‘period’ instead of ‘comma.’  Preparation through repetition also improves your knowledge and timing of your speech, which would allow you to avoid fillers through confidence. The practice would also allow you to rehearse other actions such as advancing a slide or asking the audience for feedback. Finally, PLEASE be sure to practice reenacting dialogue and conversation by not using the word 'like.'

2. FADING and DYING

You start out strong and really energetic, but even Father Time catches up to sentences and eventually strangles the life out of what you have to say leaving you at zero volume or a mumble when you’re done.

Down the sink they go: your powerful  points. Your closure. Your ‘drive it home’…all lost. Your skeptical audience doesn’t get a chance to hear your finish or feed off your energy because your ran out of energy and volume in the home stretch.

Remedy: Pace and Breathing. With an interview or public speaking engagement, several thoughts might need your car salesman closure, and even though you want to start out with full-force, pacing yourself would be the better option. You can still be emphatic at the beginning of a paragraph without running out of gas by the end. First, figure out how you’re breathing. Most experts for public speaking encourage you to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth while using your diaphragm muscles to project your voice. If you feel you’re pacing yourself nicely, simply monitor your volume to maintain a good voice throughout your entire point. Close out a sentence with clarity and emphasis.

3. THE INDECISIVE...LUNCH?

To drive this point home, all I need is for you to recall the frustration the last time your colleagues couldn’t decide on a place to eat because 1 person couldn’t decide on what ‘sounded good.’ Nerve-racking…pick a place for lunch, already. A cousin to Space Fillers, the indecisive soul may begin with solid planning and direction, but then sadly erases credibility at the very end:

“In other words, the 60% growth shown in the TSP reports can be easily outsourced to our Omaha branch…I guess.”   Starting and especially ending anything with ‘I think’ or ‘I guess’ will only have you thinking and guessing who gets the next promotion.

Remedy: Stand Firm and be Conclusive. After you eliminate ‘I think’ and ‘I guess’ from your prose, then you can work on driving every point home as if you’d bet your first born child and mortgage on whatever you’re selling.

Figuring out how your speech is affected by stressful situations will also help eliminate the barriers between you and your next big goal. Practice, combined with the analysis of your dialogue is a powerful, yet often forgotten, method to enhancing your professional profile. You get one shot at an interview or to impress a crowd- make it count.

Until Next Time,

~Coach Jake

Request a FREE copy of the Maximal Me 12-Point Interview Checklist from: jake@MaximalME.com

The Inaugural Maximal Me Blog

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." ~George Eliot

Welcome to the 1st Maximal Me Blog! In 2014, I earned my certification as a Professional Life Coach and created as a project dedicated to helping others pursue a better life. The concept of coaching has always been a natural fit with my love of sports, but now I've created a program to help coach you toward your goals. The original project concept was drafted on a 'whiteboard' starting with the perfect word: Maximal.

After reading the definition, I knew immediately it would be my foundation: Let's help YOU achieve the greatest things possible. Every blog post will be include analysis of real-world challenges for either personal and professional development. Plus, I promise to include solutions, remedies, and tips you can use for improvement as you work to enhance your personal Tool Box. Perhaps somewhere in the midst of Communication, Time Management, Dating and Relationships, Professional Growth, Spirituality and Mind, and Health & Fitness, there's a specific topic you'd like to hear about? I'd love to hear from you at jake@maximalme.com Life Coaching isn't about therapy or counseling. It's journey of communication, goal-setting, and accountability on the path to improving your life. An effective Life Coach wants to celebrate your milestones and victories as you start enhancing your life, and I look forward to working with you so you can say everyday: "THIS, is the Maximal ME."

~Coach Jake