What the A.C.T. & S.A.T. Forgot to Tell You...

"True terror is to wake up one  morning and discover that your high school class is running the country." ~Kurt Vonnegut

I was struck by an interesting question last week that caught me off guard: "She's half-way through her Senior year of high school, what should she be focusing on for college?"

I was caught off-guard not because it's a bad question...it's actually a brilliant question...I'm just guessing that it's usually answered incorrectly. You see, what you need to survive in college, isn't found in a text book. It's actually a set of acquired skills that are rarely even mentioned. And it's sad. Lost in all this talk about Common Core and the next standardized test, the real survival skills are forgotten.

I worked in university admissions for 6 years, so I was able to observe a pretty good list of reasons why students dropped out of college...and it usually wasn't because they weren't smart enough.

So, Alex Trebek, I'll take: "7 Things the ACT & SAT Forgot to Teach You...for $42,000."


1. The Ability and Poise to Say "No"

It will take your child about 20 seconds on campus to realize there are 101,000 distractions. Drinking. Athletics. Parties. Social Clubs. Greek Life. Dating...to name a few. So when it's Thursday night and your huge exam is Friday at 8am, can you say "no" when everyone else is headed to a party? Saying "no" when it means the most is an art form.

2. Reading for Long Periods of Time

It sounds silly at first. But remember: You're 18 years-old with the attention span of a monkey with A.D.D. You're sitting there in the midst of all the distractions and invites. Can you stay focused long enough to read and retain the material in front of you for 60 minutes? 90 minutes?

3. Working in Groups

Much of college is about survival, and sometimes surviving means you get a group and you hit the library until you hit a milestone. Collaboration on homework. Group Think. Group presentations. You'd be surprised and saddened by the number of people who can't interact with small crowds.

4. Living with No Extra Credit

Extra Credit in high school is sometimes given out more frequently than lunchroom pizza or milk in small cartons. Write an extra essay- 30 extra points. Do an extra project- bonus points.  The buffer allowed for a bad test score every now and then and kept your grades in good standing regardless of what you were learning. In college? Not so much.  The grade you earned the first time is the grade that will effect your average. Professors will ask you- why should I give extra credit when you didn't study the first time?

5. Entitlement Stays Home with Mommy & Daddy

This one might be the hardest. If you believe college is going to hold your hand and owe you something...then you're going to get used to a lot of F's and WF's (withdraw while failing). You need a strong work ethic, motivation, and a pile of stick-to-it-iveness. No one is going to hand you anything- you have to be ready to go earn it yourself.

6. Time Management

Often branded a corporate term, personal Time Management is just as important as pizza and Ramen noodles for college survival. Your course work...Study groups...Part time job...Significant other. And all the social events already mentioned. Having a system for scheduling and balancing it all is critical to success. That has to start in high school, and I highly recommend employing the help of a system like a day planner or digital calendar.

7. Critical Thinking

Your child can read. Your child can write. But can he or she think for himself/herself? Do you have a child who can take a situation and some data to objectively analyze a problem? Can he think outside the box when a common formula doesn't quite fit? Can she find a solution when all the factors aren't apparent?  Challenge your child. Make thinking outside the box a weekly task. Critical Thinking is more than a college skill...it's a life skill.

Care for a bonus? (no Extra Credit, though)...

8. Surviving on Little or No Sleep

When Mommy and Daddy are facilitating the physiological needs, the balance and scheduling can often get taken for granted. So when you find the need to study until 10pm, rush to Waffle House for a bite to eat, then hit a couple parties until 3am...you're still forced to remember that it's only Tuesday and you have a full day tomorrow. It gets even better when the cycle goes, wash, rinse, & repeat. The solution isn't keeping a high school student up late on weekdays, but every now and then, a chore or task when your kid is a little tired and groggy isn't a bad idea.


Does this list include every skill a student with college ambitions should embrace?? Of course not. But it's a solid start, especially for you parents with 8th and 9th graders. And if you parents are wondering if your student will be "college-ready," you should remember to value and boost the life skill-sets as much as is traditionally done with knowledge.

Happy College Prepping,


Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how Maximal Me Coaching Programs can help prepare your college student.

Life Coaching Tool #1: The Circle of Perspective

MaximalMe.com Life Coaching is excited to launch a series of Life Coaching tools that you can easily complete  to evaluate different areas of you're life. You'll essentially be your own coach.

The Circle of Perspective, also known as the 'Wheel of Life', is a quick exercise to give yourself a snapshot of areas in your life that might need attention.

First, draw the circle shown in Figure 1.

Figure 1: Wheel of Perspective

Next,  label each 'pie' section with one of the following: Career, Relationships, Spirituality (or Mental Fitness), Health & Fitness, Financially, and then one for Overall Well Being.

Give each segment a score or graded based on how you view that segment in your life. 10 is Excellent. Couldn't be Happier. 0 (zero) is Completely Disastisfied/unhappy. Write each number in the section.

Figure 2: Filling in Your Wheel

Now you will be filling in the ‘spokes’ and creating your wheel. Draw a line connecting the spokes based on your score from Step #3 (This will create a smaller triangle), and then color or shade in the piece. See Figure 2. If you gave that segment a 10, color in the whole piece. If you gave it a 5, draw a line half way in the piece connecting the spokes

Reflection:  Take a minute to process your scores for each section. This is a snapshot of your Wheel of Life and Circle of Perspective. What are your initial thoughts?  If this was a real wheel, how would you be able to smoothly roll forward?  Where can we focus your Life Coaching?

Let your wheel soak in, then create an action plan for your lowest scoring segments!

Happy Coaching!

~Coach Jake

P.S. Interested in seeing more Life Coaching tools or taking your life to the next level? Check out www.MaximalMe.com or email me and ask me how!

Check Out Thumbtack

Just a quit plug... Do you have a service to offer the community or are you looking for some solid vendors?  Check out Thumback.com!

You can find my Life Coaching profile on Thumbtack here: Maximal Me Life Coaching on Thumback

If you have a business or service, Thumbtack brings you potential client leads right to your phone.

~Coach Jake

www.MaximalMe.com

How to Score...Goals

My New Years resolutions:

1. Stop Making Lists

B. Be more consistent

7. Learn to Count

Despite most of them falling into a black hole by January 15, New Years resolutions are never, ever a bad thing. What's puzzling is the odd trend of waiting until the new year to actually set a goal. Not a lot of people know this, so please keep it a secret: You can set a goal and act upon it at ANY time during the year.

Shhhhhhhhhh. I know. Crazy, right? Don't tell anyone.

Before I can tell you how to achieve every thing you want, let's first examine why most New Years resolutions are dead by February and why most goals never get off the ground. Goals die because:

1. We record the goal in our heads only.

An idea pops into our head...and, Oh it's a brilliant one! Sadly, we just keep it there. It remains a hovering thought with no tender, loving care. Write goals down. Keep them in the forefront of your plans and revisit them often.

2. We create the vision and forget the plan.

I want a new job making $10k more than what I am making now.  That's a solid goal, but what are the steps you're going to take to make it happen? What resources can help you along the way? Answer these questions as part of your plan of action.

3. We have no timetables or milestones.

What good is a goal if you don't have a date for desired completion? When a particular task has a deadline, we tend to pay more attention to it. Milestones can be useful for breaking a large task into smaller ones. If you want to do 100 push-ups by June, why not aim for 40 by March and then 80 by May?

4. Celebrate your victories.

If you're not celebrating and rewarding yourself for your wins in life,  then you're doing it wrong. A tangible reward can only serve as motivation for completing a task. The size of the reward can even match the size of the goal...from taking yourself to get a Dairy Queen Blizzard to taking that 7-day cruise you've always wanted.


If you think a more structured system would help you, or you just like acronyms, try the S.M.A.R.T. Goal approach.

Specific- Be precise so you can evaluate your success.

Measurable- The who, what, and where of your goal.

Achievable- They have to be reasonable for you to reach.

Realistic- Do you have the ability and commitment to reach them?

Time Bound- A timeline will finalize your goal’s structure.

Need a place to start? Choose 2 short-term (1-3 months) goals and 1 long-term (4-12 months) goal and then create your plans. Document your milestones and your desired celebrations, and then track them to completion. [This process is acceptable from January through December.]

I want to see you score...Goals. Happy Goal Setting,

Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how MaximalMe.com Life Coaching Programs hold us both accountable to your goals and dreams. Request a goal tracking template from jake@MaximalMe.com.

Tinder Love and Care

"I'm certain I'll find my soulmate in the questionable and seedy world of online dating." ~SomeEcards

When I hear people rattle off their Tinder dating (I use dating loosely...pun intended) stories, my mind instantly shifts to the Law and Order: SVU episode that deals with "Anonymous Quickie"...a make-believe phone app that promotes exactly what its name says. Only in that episode, the main culprit had HIV and didn't bother telling anyone. That wasn't intended to scare you from Tinder, but if you're not quite familiar...Tinder seems to have this reputation that rests in the middle ground between Match.com and AdultFriendFinder.com.


So when I got asked to write a blog about Tinder, I grinned and shook my head. Not because I would discourage you from using it or because it has a  'hook-up' vibe to it...but because of the naivety in which some people use it.

First, I had no choice but to hit the pavement and summon Nashville's finest to get their thoughts. They delivered as always, and here's a quick summary.

TINDER PRO's

• Easy to use and free
• Profiles featured are generally more attractive than regular online dating
• Reveals mutual friends so you can do your homework
• Reciprocal swipes ensure matches are mutual so there's no unwanted communication

TINDER CON's -or- SWING POINTS TO CONSIDER (can swing either way depending on where you sit)

• Many people 'drunk' Tinder (ie, incoherence, lost conversations)
• "The quickest way to chlamydia I know."
• Large percentage of people who just want to 'hook-up'
• 90% of interaction is based on appearance and maybe a clever headline
• The app is location based, which lends itself to out-of-towners
• Swipes can get out-of-control

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of 2 dating themes: 1. There truly is an app or website for everything. And 2. Freaks are everywhere, so let's not pretend unwholesome people are only online. I'm always humored by that person whose ignorance stereotypes online dating: "I'm never using match.com again! That guy was not who he said he was." Really? so the guy you met 6 months ago at a bar who you took home that night and who ended up living with his parents- how did that go? Was that a disingenuous bar?

Bad dating arrangements are found anywhere you're willing to look.

Have you ever wondered why people don't have the same standards and filters for people no matter how and where you met them? If safety comes first, it wouldn't matter where you met them...whether it be Tinder...at the gas station....Match.com....or if grandpa hit him or her with the car.

So protect yourself by not lowering your standards to meet at someone's house...or by not hooking up out of convenience...or by compromising one of your values 'just because.'

After your safety comes the most important key to dating you'll ever hear: if online dating (or any dating) is going to be successful for you, your goals have to be synchronized with whomever you meet. But that's also the parallel (that people refuse to see) with meeting someone 'offline'. If a mere hook-up is acceptable, then your options are obviously greater. If something long-term and concrete is more your style, then swiping through pics-and-catchy-headline on Tinder, probably isn't your right forum. Where you fish is just as important as the fish you choose to keep.

Convenience doesn't mean quality, and you might have to separate the two. Gas station hot dogs and donuts are pretty convenient, quick, and easy...but you probably wouldn't take them home to mom.

Until next time,
Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how MaximalMe.com Life Coaching can help you make smarter dating choices.

In the Nick of Time Management

How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did i get so late so soon? ~ Dr. Seuss

Every week I talk to managers and supervisors who often comment (complain) about the skill-sets (and lack thereof) of their employees. It appears there are 2 skills that a majority of people mistakenly feel are their own competencies: Customer Service and Time Management. And ultimately, they aren't very good at either.

Customer Service embodies the art of the customer always being right, which sounds simple at face value...up until it's time to actually act and communicate as if the customer's ignorance or attitude is indeed actually right. That is moment where true customer service is tested.

Then there's Time Management...the world where organization, scheduling, and balance make a baby called productivity.  If your Time Management skills are weak, then first start take a long, hard look your system that does the managing. Outlook? Google Calendar? Cell phone app? Day Planner? a scribbled on napkin?All are good choices if you're just starting out, but I'd go with a coaster in lieu of a napkin. Your first key is to use your system for everything- both professional and personal- so you get in the habit of solid, comprehensive planning. That is, you'll make Time Management second nature.

If you're feeling pretty good about your Time Management skills, then I'm about to grant you 3 intangibles for which mastery will further increase your profile.


Foresight. Anybody can plan out the next 5 working days. Let's upgrade. Have your thoughts scroll through a series of timelines...2 weeks...1 month...3 months...6 months...and asked yourself the detail-oriented questions for each event on the calendar: Do I need to book a conference room? Have all the stakeholders been invited? What is the budget? What are the traveling and logistics challenges? 

By asking the critical questions for each interval, you essentially just raised your own stock:You elevated the game from simple Time Management to anointed Project Manager. By mastering the details early and often, you begin to look like a planning genius to your colleagues. Your reward? Impressing the masses as they think, 'wow, he thought of everything.'

Valuing the time of others. Have you ever scheduled a meeting for a small group, say 8 to 12 people, and 2 people were no-shows and 2 others were 10-15 minutes late? You awkwardly sit there forcing conversations while those 4 members didn't even bother to confirm presence nor tardiness. Now, yes, I concur that we must acknowledge that $hit happens and schedules often conflict. But if others are depending on your presence, feedback, and contributions, then bare-bones human decency asks that you keep the group or team leader aware of your attendance. Valuing the time and schedules of others is about respect. If your punctuality and presence isn't noticed by your colleagues or stakeholders, or even your friends, why should they respect your time?

Continual Re-prioritization. True masters of Time Management have figured out that your priorities at 9:00 am on Tuesday, may be drastically different than those at 2:30 pm on that same Tuesday. Sometimes you'll have to have your head on a swivel...and when you least expect it, the present task will change as you balance the critical needs of today with the deadlines for the next week. You can also consult your Circle of Concern vs. Influence to focus on the areas where you have direct control. Evaluate early and often, and don't be afraid to consult superiors for guidance.

Keep your schedule fresh in your head, value others' schedules, and use your gift of foresight to become a master of balancing and reshuffling. And thus, your 3 new concepts all come together.

Time Management can be an art...a lifestyle. If you're willing to embrace even the basic concepts, you can start streamlining all aspects of your life, and, in in turn, maximizing every single day.


~Coach Jake

P.S. Ask me how www.MaximalMe.com Life Coaching programs are centered around Time Management.

Smile, For the Selfie

I've read about 202 articles that scientifically link the act of taking a Selfie (the act of snapping a cell phone picture of yourself) to Narcissism (the act falling in love with yourself). And I have to say- I'm starting to believe every one of them. Throw in 4 lbs of Entitlement, and you'll have the instant recipe for Generation Y Soup. Social Media could post some sort of alert or Selfie decoder legend in the corner. One Selfie a week: Acceptable. 2-3x a week: Warning, watch for falling rocks. 4-10x a week...Attention Starved will be tattooed right on your forehead.

The aforementioned articles cite the need for approval...Looking for social comfort...Needing reassurance...It's a scream for a reply. In the 90's we didn't have Social Media, but we were quick to point out the kid in class who was constantly looking for attention. We didn't have a way to 'like' his behavior, so we probably just faciliated a path to him or her becoming an outcast. The irony rests in whether or not you're one of those people who clicks 'like' every time the hot girl posts a Selfie.

However, my concerns with Social Media extend far beyond Selfies. I'm baffled by how people who take an excessive amount of Selfies, who take pictures of their lunches, and who post their drama online, can't figure out why the Internet can't stand people who take an excessive amount of Selfies, who take pictures of their lunches, and who post their drama online. Follow me?

And then I met Reed. Reed was my server for lunch one day. Upon witnessing her take a Selfie at the bar, I took a snide jab when she returned to my table. She admitted it was childish and called it 'high school,' but it was what she said next that caught me off guard: "I'm just having a bad day and needed something to cheer me up."

Well, damn. That's hard to argue.

So here I sit...stuck in a dilemma. Now instead of instantly judging your Selfie, I first want to know why you took it. From there, the Internet can collectively judge you on different levels.

The ultimate truth is that each one of you probably has slightly different reasons for your pics. But let's not kid ourselves and say that attention isn't one of them. If you're on a fabulous hike or vacation and want to show your face with a scenic landscape in the background...is the world's reaction to that photo supposed to be different to one of just you in front of your bathroom sink with a duck face and flashing deuces?  The answer to that riddle is yes, but the foundation for both pics is still the same: you wanted others to see it. That's approval. That's attention.

What people have yet to come to grips with is this: You will be judged on WHATEVER you post to your social media. You can't air your relationship drama or have daily political rants or be a constant Debbie Downer or post frequent pics of the drunken you, and expect people not to judge you on some level.

That begs the question: What does your Social Media say about you? Are you making people's lives better? Are your posts encourging and painting you in a motivated light? or are you putting up hourly posts that bring absolutely nothing (except drama, narrow opinions, and your bathroom sink) to the table? Or is everything online just up there so people notice and give you attention and a pat on the back? You'll have to answer that...because your friends already have.


Ulimately, I will put my PB&J sandwich up against your edamame and gourmet sandwich anyday of the week. I'm just not going to show everyone. But, if you're in a happy moment and need to post a picture...go with it. Happiness, innovation, and positive energy can be contagious, and if you're uplifting to at least one person, then maybe it's worth it. However, if you're at the gym: nobody cares, but hey, post that mirror Selfie like you own the next Olympics.

Happy Social Media-ing,
~Coach Jake


P.S. Ask me how Maximal Me Life Coaching can give your life the structure and change you need to boost your confidence to new heights.